So today was my “bitch day”. Everything just went wrong and instead of trying to be positive about it I let it get the best of me. Usually I keep my head up, smile, and say “tomorrow will be better”. Today my motto was “screw you” and “piss off”. Probably not the best way to deal with it, but I’m getting better as the day goes on. I had the best intentions for today, but then I got a text message that made me realize everything I had planned has not happened at all. So that set my crap mood for the entire day. Then there was the entire boyfriend situation.
Thank God for friends. The real ones. Not the ones that around when they’re bored or need something. The ones that are always around when you really need them. They talked me out of my depression and helped pull me up to higher ground. No, I’m not 100% better but I’m not as crappy as I was this morning. I’m still searching for a way out of this mess and a way to be able to live my own life. There’s a little bit of pep in my step and a lot more hope in my heart. Today wasn’t all bad. The boyfriend was there for me today. Just randomly text me making me smile and being amazing. He surprises at the best of times and I love him for it. That and many other things. Needless all my fears from earlier have gone away. Okay, not all of them but most of them.
Today wasn’t a win by any means BUT it wasn’t a total loss either. I’m finally getting my head in the right direction and getting all of the crap out of the way. It’s not easy but if it were this wouldn’t mean so much. It wouldn’t feel worth having or worth doing. One day at a time guys. I’m going to get it together and I’m bringing you guys along for the ride!