Okay so this post is dedicated to my kick ass friends. The ones who are always there and make me feel like everything will be just fine even though it’s obvious things will be screwed up for a while. The ones who will do anything to put a smile on my face and rescue me from any bad day (or amount of work) that I don’t wanna deal with. The ones who put up with my bitching and bullshit and love me all the same.
My best friend went and bought me cookies last night at 12:30am because I told him I was hungry. Then once he saw how sad I was he drove me around until 3am. Why? Because he’s amazing. That’s why. He’s been there for me through practically everything and in case you guys couldn’t tell I’m not the easiest person to put up with. Yet, there he is. Time after time and I love him for it. He doesn’t judge me at all and he gets me. It’s not easy to have found friends like this and when you find them you better hold on to them.
My best girl friend is possibly the best person on this planet. Everyday there’s new drama and everyday there she is to put a smile on my face. She drops everything just to make sure I’m okay. She makes me laugh like an idiot and I can always be myself around her. No matter what that ‘me’ may be for the day. She loves every shade of me and I love every shade of her. We haven’t always had the best relationship but we fought our way through and now our friendship is stronger than ever and she’s practically my sister. I’d be so lost without her and I thank God everyday she’s in my life. She doesn’t think so but I know she’s an angel and nothing she does can make me think any differently. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for her.
This is my thank you. I don’t tell you guys this enough but I’m forever grateful you’re in my life. I love you more than I’ll ever be able to say. Thank you, thank you, and a million times more thank you. I’m here for you always I promise. ❤
We have visited a lot of places around London that have taught me about the culture and history of England. But when it comes down to it I cam here to do my learning at the University of Reading. Now that I am in the heat of my finals, I can finally compare my school load here versus my school load back home. The difference in how the schooling works here is one of the things I did not expect before coming. I have always experienced the exact same schooling basics even if I switched through different systems in the states. I knew I would experience some cultural differences, but I figured since they spoke English it would be fine. Again, I was…
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Hello world. How are you? Are you lovely? I hope so. I hope you’re doing way better and feeling much better than I am. That would be awesome. I’m stuck at a crossroad and I don’t know what to do. That’s nothing new right? I haven’t even taken the test I need to take so I am for sure in for Raritan. I don’t even wanna go to college. My mom wants me to go and won’t leave me alone about it. I hate it. I don’t know. Aren’t you suppose to go after what you want in life? Go after YOUR dreams and do what YOU want? Follow YOUR heart? No one seems to get that anymore.
I want to have my own place by Summer (I feel like I told you guys this already). Washington D.C. has apartments starting at $600 a month, but I’m hoping to get a place in China town with some friends. I’m just ready to be on my own. I’m so sick of putting up with shit from everyone else. Asking if I can go out, being told I’m too young for a tattoo, and too young to take the train on my own. I’m nineteen. When will I be old enough? It’s ridiculous. I’m just sick of going through the same shit and not getting anywhere with them. Don’t they ever get tired of fighting? God knows I do.
This relationship is failing. Failing miserably. Isn’t dating your best friend suppose to be easy? I thought wrong. Somewhere we went wrong. He changed on me. Maybe I’m just expecting too much. I don’t know but I just want to cry all the time. I’m pretty sure the crying isn’t suppose to be happening all the time, like this, and hurting so much. Everything just hurts and I don’t want to do this anymore. We haven’t even spoken in two days and our anniversary is on Friday.
I’m trying to keep my head above water but the pressure just keeps pushing me down. Drowning is the easy part. Breathing…that’s the hardest part. Tomorrow is a new day and a new chance. Something’s gotta give…right?
Today…I’m quite sure everyone has a broken heart today. My heart goes out to everyone who lost someone today. I don’t understand how someone can do such a thing. And to kids. They didn’t deserve this. No one deserves this. Someone I know made a very good point though. Banning all guns won’t solve a thing. You need to examine the person. Not everyone who buys a gun or gets gun license should have one. Background checks should be run and people should be evaluated. Plus, people always find a way to get their hands on something illegal (ex: alcohol in the 1920’s, drugs ect.). Saying “guns are illegal” won’t fix or solve anything. People kill people whether or not they have guns, and whether or not they’re legal people will still find ways to get them.
As for everything else today it was pretty chill. I took a day off from everyone and by everyone I mean my family. I just needed to get my head together. Christmas shopping is pretty much over, and New Years is around the corner. I don’t know about you but that makes me pretty damn happy.
Tell the people who matter most to you that you love them, take nothing for granted and if you don’t already be thankful for everyday you have. It’s a gift. All things in life are a gift. The good and the bad.
Am I the only one who is happy that 2012 is almost over? I hope not. I’m just ready for a new year. This one didn’t go as great as I had hoped, but things don’t always go the way we plan do we? I just have to pick myself and start over. I’m becoming used to that. Practice makes perfect. I think I’ve found a place in Washington D.C. to live. It’s cute, there are places to work nearby, and it’s affordable. All of these things make me happy. Hopefully I’ll be able to move in by next summer (this is when we all say ‘YAAAAAAAAY!!!!’)
I finally cleaned my room and I’m really happy about it. It’s not all cleaned but it looks pretty damn good. I’ve come to the conclusion that my room is a symbol of me. The messier it gets the messier my life gets. Just because I don’t wanna deal with it doesn’t mean I shouldn’t. I may try and hide things under the bed, but at some point I still have to deal with it. It’ll only get worse if I don’t. I’m done hiding.
I’m going to buy lights for my room today. Well, I’m going to try to. All this Christmas shopping is emptying out my debit card, BUT it’s okay cause it’s worth. It’s always worth it for the ones you love. Blah blah blah. I’m just going on at this point I suppose.
P.s. Happy 12-12-12
Cherish it. It’s the copy of dates we get.