So I’ve come to find that I don’t think I’m deserving of love. I believe that so much has happened and it’s my fault and I just don’t deserve love. Of course my boyfriend begs to differ and believes it’s all in my head but I strongly believe that he’s gonna leave me soon so it doesn’t really matter what he says at this point does it? He’ll be telling some more deserving girl the same thing soon enough. He says he’ll never leave but that’s what everyone says isn’t it? I’m trying to break myself out of this but it’s not easy. I can fake it in public, but at night when you’re alone there’s no hiding from it. All you can do is face it and accept it. It’s not fun, but it’s life.
Anyway. Hello everyone. How have you guys been? HAPPY DECEMBER 😀 the BEST month of the year !!! I honestly believe that there is no better way to end the year. December is just perfect. Even with all its flaws. Christmas shopping is practically done. I need to get back in the swing of crazy hours with college starting January and all. I applied for a job at Starbucks today and prayerfully I’ll get it. Let’s see….hmmm…OH! I got for my license in January! YAY!!! Nothing has changed much around here. It never does. I wake up, stay in bed for a minutes contemplating what the day will hold, get up, and hope that I’ll make it through. Proud to say that I do 🙂
I’ll be on more often. I know I say that then disappear for days on end. Sorry about that. Taking baby steps. One day at a time. That’s all for now. Today has gone rather slow, but that’s fine. I was able to get more done which leave more time for reading. It’s perfect if you ask me. Hopefully I’ll have the house to myself for a while and I’ll rest easy for a while. I feel as if I’m babbling now so that’s all.