Posted in Journal, Real Life, Uncategorized

February 19, 2015

Do you ever wake up and wonder what it would be like to be normal? To be able to walk among others in society and feel like you belong? I do. Daily.

But I’ve come to realize it’s pointless. There are some things about me that I just can’t change and wouldn’t want to if I could. It’s a part of what makes me, me. I don’t want to fit into society anyway. Every time I turn on the television there’s something new to wear, some new object that connects to whatever faster, and it’s all just a bunch of crap. You buy a bunch of stuff to impress people who you probably don’t even like that much.

I’m in a competition with no one and the only person that I need to be accepted by is myself. I like my stuff (old or new) and I like myself even with my a million flaws. Of course there’s always going to be room for improvement and I’m always going to feel like an outcast when I’m around a group of people, but I see no point in trying to make everyone else happy if I’m miserable.

We are all weird and/or crazy in our own way so it’s about time we just accept it. I’ve spent so long trying to be what everyone else wanted me to be instead of just loving myself for who I am. Now I’m 21 and trying to figure this all out now and I feel like I should have gone through this when I was a teenager. I think it’s something that everyone struggles with no matter what age you are.

Just be happy with who you are. There’s no point in living your life in a way that doesn’t put a smile on your face. No matter what you do or who you are there is always going to be someone against you for something. Why put yourself through that? Why deal with the headache. I’m awesome how I am. I laugh too loud, I make weird noises at random times, I play my music too loud, I make dumb jokes, and I’m passionate about what really matters to me. There’s nothing wrong with that.

If you love yourself and you love your life why change it? I understand if you’re a harm to yourself or others around you things need to change, but if that’s not the case then wake up with confidence. All the confidence in the world. People who are secure in who they are, are not only the happiest people but also the bravest. At least in my opinion anyway. If the whole world is going to be against you why would you be against yourself?

Cause everybody knows that hardest war to fight is the fight to be yourself when the voices try to turn you into someone else

Posted in Journal, Real Life, Uncategorized

February 7, 2015

So, I took a few days to myself to try and get my head together and it was one of the best things I’ve done so far this year. I was falling back into old habits and trying to fix everything all at once and I just can’t do that.

Nothing can be solved that way for me. I just have to do what I can and stop pressuring myself. Life isn’t what I always want it to be but I have to do my best and face each day as it comes. Instead of pushing myself I’ve decided to just pick an area of my life that I think needs improvement and work on it until I think it’s at its best for the time being. Focus on one thing and stick to it.

I know I’ll still get stressed and I know I’ll weigh myself down with worry, but I’m hoping that by doing this the stress and worry of it all won’t be as bad as it has been.

I’ve also decided to start focusing more on the good than all the bad. It’s so easy for me to get wrapped up in my emotions and cancel out the good but that’s also when I start to push myself back down into the hole I’ve been trying to climb out of for years. You can’t get anywhere better if you keep walking backwards.

This whole process is going to take longer than I expected or wanted but I will get to a better place. I just have to take it one day at a time and there’s nothing wrong with that (that’s mainly for me cause I need to remind myself of this every once in a while). This will probably be my craziest adventure in life yet (and that’s saying A LOT) but I’m ready for it. I just have to remember that it’s only a bad day and not a bad life.

breathe it in and let it out