I used to hate the beach. I couldn’t stand it. Class trips to the beach used to drive me mad and I would be such a whiny brat. Now I’m 22 and it’s one of my favorite places to go. Even with this impending snow storm coming the only thing I can think about is when I’ll be on the beach again.
It’s my safe place and the place where I’m most honest with myself. I feel as if nothing can go wrong and that just for a little while the world is perfect. The beach is to me what Tiffany’s is to Holly Golightly. Something about sitting in the sand (or sometimes sitting on the rocks) and watching the ocean just calms me down like very few things can.
I wish I hadn’t hated it so much when I was a child. I wish I had pictures of me on the beach with friends smiling and laughing. Not looking like I had just been sentenced to death. I wish I hadn’t turned down those late night trips to the shore to go crazy and have fun. I wish I would have found this source of peace earlier rather than hating it just cause the sun was always on me and the fact that there were too many people for my comfort level.
I feel like so many things would be different now. I would be different now and feel more at ease when the waves come crashing in on my life. I say all of this about the beach because so far my 2016 is off to a rocky start. I’ve been more down than up and hurt in a way I didn’t think was possible. At these times the only thing that brought me back down were thoughts of the beach and actually being on the beach. This may sound stupid, but sometimes I feel like the beach is my only real friend because I can go there and be whoever and whatever I want and it will never judge me or throw it back in my face.
The ocean will never call me a failure, a whore, an idiot, fat, or a waste. It will only surround me with sand and hug me with waves. Anyway, I guess this long post is just my way of thanking the ocean for always being there and for understanding my silence when I couldn’t even understand it. I’m plenty sure I’ll be in need of its love again in the near future and it’ll be there waiting and accepting as always.
The sea, once it casts its spell, hold one in its net of wonder forever…