Heads up: this post is mainly me whining about how bored I am today. Granted most of my blogs can be considered as me complaining, but this is selfish complaining. Read on if’d you like and enjoy your day.
I hate not having a job to go to everyday. There’s a difference between having a day off and having continuous days off with nothing to do. Ah, the perks of an unexpected move backwards in life. I’m happy with the choice I made, but sometimes I wish I had a crystal ball so I could plan ahead.
I’m trying to focus more on my writing, bettering myself, and focusing on a better future. But I hate this. I hate not being busy and not having a job to look forward to. I know it’s partially because I’m without a way to distract myself, but it’s also because I’m not a fan of sitting still. Ever. Yes, there’s working out but I want something more than that. Without a steady job going out is limited. There really is no trick for this thing called “growing up”.
You can never plan ahead. Never plan for life. You might think you are and you may try, but you can never tell. You can never plan ahead because it switches up so fast. I think that’s what adds to all the frustration. At least for me anyway. What’s the point of trying so hard? Why put forth all the effort if there’s a chance (a good chunk of chance at that) that it’s gonna blow up in your face?
But then again, what’s worse? Trying and everything blowing up in your face or not trying and doing nothing with yourself? So, I keep trying. I try and I try.Granted if I could make smarter choices my trying might work out a tad bit better. But still. I’ll keep planning, keep trying, and maybe one day I won’t have to start over again. I’ll reach where I want to be and won’t have to be so damn bored and antsy all the time.