Do people who continuously use and hurt others understand how much damage it truly does to another person? Do people honestly not get how tiring it is tear yourself apart to try and keep people upright and whole?
It takes so much out of you and it all just starts to feel like too much. You feel like in some way you’re failing them even though they’re the ones hurting you. Everyone (me included) always says to let go of people who hurt you. Let go of everything around you that’s toxic. It’s always easier said then done. Especially the more you care about someone.
You feel like if you let go then you’re betraying them or being selfish. So, you answer the 2 a.m. phone calls, have a heart attack when they don’t answer after a stressful night, light yourself on fire to light up their world, and put yourself through even if things are shitty for you at the time? Why? Because you love them.You love them and you truly believe that they’ll get past whatever it is.
But they don’t. They make excuses and keep doing whatever toxic thing is dragging them down which also drags you down because you spend all your time worrying and trying to help them. I’m not guilt free in this because I’ve done it before. Hell, there are times I still do it now. However, by now I know when I’m being hard headed and making bad choices and I keep to myself. Every once in a while when I decide to open my mouth about whatever issue it is I point out that I know it’s my fault and I just need to vent.
I am the maker of my own misery.
So, what do you do? How do you let go? Or at least distance yourself?
“Well, you just have to get tougher skin and let go. You have to take care of yourself first and leave others alone”
Once again, easier said than done.