It’s about that time. That time that we do a little recap of another one of my man crazy years. This one is the apology.
For the most part I’ve apologized to everyone I stressed out, hurt, and/or drove crazy this year. The last one happened the other night and it honestly felt like a weight off of my shoulders, but if I missed anyone here goes: I am so terribly sorry.
This year was incredibly hard and I’m afraid that at times I didn’t handle it the best way. I slipped back into old ways or I just gave up all together. I would lie to myself and tell myself I wasn’t knowing good and damn well that I was. As always it’s just a stepping stone and a lesson to be learnt.
However, to everyone who drove themselves crazy worrying about me or tried to keep me in line I know it was no easy task. Trying to get through to me when I’m trapped inside my own head is no easy task and there were times that I was just too stubborn to listen, too ashamed to tell the truth, and too hurt to think of anyone else’s feelings. The fact that I put people through this hell and they still stick by me is nothing less than amazing.
Please believe me when I say I love you and you do mean the world to me. I just have rebuild myself and it hurts more than I could have ever expected. I’m trying though. I really am and I just need more time. I know I always seem to ask for it and sometimes it feels like we get nowhere, but trust me I say your patience, love, and understanding are what get me through the days and sometimes the months.
You are my rocks, my strong towers, and the best group of people that anyone could ever know. I love you, I’m sorry, and I’m working on me. Don’t give up on me just yet. K?